Afi Ruel We live in a world that is largely unsafe. Finding safe places and people is challenging, and that’s putting it lightly. However, we weren’t created to live alone. We all need to belong. So the question now is how do we find safe communities of friends and family in a world that is largely unsafe.
Boundaries.
The quickest way to figure out if someone is unsafe is to communicate a boundary. If they respond with an apology and don’t violate it again, they might be safe. If they respond with gaslighting or further disrespect, they are not safe. Boundaries are your personal limits on what you will/can or will/can not do. But here’s the thing. Boundaries don’t stop a person from violating them. You have to follow through with the subsequent consequences of your boundaries being violated in order for the boundaries to mean anything.
I believe this is the point where people choose to have barriers instead. I think they believe that barriers are easier because you simply “keep people out” altogether. But if no one “gets in” you’re alone. The wise thing to do is to have strong, healthy boundaries that allow the right people to “come in” and “keep the wrong people out”.
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